you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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