I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
