I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
