She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
