Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
