looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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