how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
