Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
