we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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