She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
