I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
