Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
