North Korea, Best Korea!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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