ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
