I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
