Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
