I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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