Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Damn victory sex feels great
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
