More tranny stories later!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize