8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
