We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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