I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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