We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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