I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
