He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize