oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
