So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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