Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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