drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
