Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
