maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize