I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The uberlube is also flammable
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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