I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
