I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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