Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
