There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I want her autograph on my taint
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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