CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
