let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
