I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
