I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
