New invention idea: vibrating tampons
barbara walters just said penis...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
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