I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
