I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
whose parrot is this?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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