im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize