I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
