Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
