my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
