I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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