i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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