I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
