I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize