I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
