Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
