Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
