Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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