My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just want to make out with him forever
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
