Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
