Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just had sex on a roof
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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