So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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