well you can't waste a boner
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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