The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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