Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize