Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
