Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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