you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
