i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
