Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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