yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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