thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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