The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
