Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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