My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
