The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its not stalking. its research.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
