Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
