Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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